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| Quandaries of childhood |
| 06.17.04 (9:11 pm) [edit] |
For me life has always been a quest, a quest for understanding, and a quest for truth. The things that have stuck with and I carry with pride, is not always what I find, but rather the process. Children in my opinion are the most liberated of us all, because the lack paradigms imposed upon them. There understanding of the world around them is so fresh and new it seems to them that almost anything is possible. I cherished my childhood, because of these freedoms. Now I haft to fight for the same right to express my self and challenge the general accepted view that I inherently possessed as a child.
When I was little, maybe five, I denounced the existence of an afterlife. I did this for a simple reason; my grandmother one night while rocking me to sleep in her lap asked if I remembered a time from before I was born. Searching far back in my memory I found a point where there was only darkness and the earliest memory I had from before that was of my self crying, but separated from my self wondering how it was I had ended up as an infant, and pondering why I was crying. This was the first time I had an epiphany, there was a time before me, and in that time I existed only in a void. My reasoning went if there was nothing before I was here then there will probable be nothing when I’m gone. This of course did not go over well with any of the adults in my life, “how could someone so young come up with such a radical idea?” being so young a part of me asked the same question. After a few years I was not as convinced of this as I had once been. The question that I asked my self was simple but devastating to my former philosophy, “How does something come from nothing?” I could not answer this and I was stumped. I finally decided that there most be some higher mechanism at work weather it be god or not, that was simple beyond my present comprehension.
A phrase that I heard when I was young that once I thought of its implications alarmed me was, “when you become a teenager you’ll become a completely different person.” This scared me because if I became a different person doesn’t that mean the person who is me here and now will die in the transfer? And if I died were would I go? Reflecting back on it now, I have to say that I am not that same child who pondered these things, but he still lives deep with in my sub-continence immerging infrequently.
In the fourth grade, while walking out to my schools courtyard, something struck me. It’s something that I still struggle with, and try to grapple with the implications this revolution had. I realized at that moment that not only did I associate colors with my emotions, but with memories, places, people, and things. This wasn’t something new; this was a sub-conscious act that I had been doing for as long as I could remember. Doing some surveying I discovered that I was not alone in this but many of my peers to one extent or another did the same. I soon began to believe that I had finally discovered something that could help to answer my earlier question. It seemed to resonate with truth. My feeling was at the time that this was only a scratch in the surface but it was still a good start.
When I was in the seventh grade I expanded on the fear of dyeing, asking the question, “If I forget a moment then did it ever really exist? If this is so then when I die and all my memories are lost did they exist as well or will they fade to nothing? This prompted me to start a short-lived journal in some hope of preserving my self.
The eighth grade was a time of great growth for me personally, it was the begging of the end for me childhood, and I am who I am now as a result of making it through this part of my life. At this time I had an explosion of interest in philosophy and literature. I read everything that I could get my hands on. I often benchmark my life based upon this time period. I was no longer bounded by the same constraints of thought that I had once been, I found a new level of truth. However I soon was inhabited by new constraints that came externally as opposed to internally.
Life should not be measured in whether you win or not, because in the end we all die. Besides what is winning life? It is very subjective question. Life is meant to be lived. The experience is what counts, this was a very different way of looking at life for me, and it once more drastically changed me. What was it then in life that I desired? What would make it worth living? To be held? To be heard? To know truth and beauty? I concluded that to be heard was not the answer and my fear of death was unfounded because it can be argued that I will exist in every possible combination, and no matter what things will change, and soon I will not be here. Then what am I? I am the experience of the here and now. A record is static if not experienced. Information is a living force that can only exist if it is continual motion. So memories that I forget still happened because I experience them, even if they fade. Nothing will be remembered forever.
Is to know truth and beauty an answer? The pursuit of raising my self to higher moral standards, and having a deeper understanding of truth became a goal I created for myself. I quickly found this to be challenging because I lacked stability in myself. There are very few infallible truths. Perception is reality, a true piece of truth.
As a child I relentless pondered my existence, but I have now accepted it and my focus has changed. What has marked the passing of my childhood for me is my passion changing from finding out why; “I am I here” too finding out, “who I am”.
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| never forget |
| 06.17.04 (9:07 pm) [edit] |
Never forget to reflect,
It helps to keep things in perspective.
Never forget to say I love you,
To the people you love.
Never forget doing nothing is sometimes the most you can do,
And is the right thing to do.
Never forget pleasing yourself is a lot easer then those you care about,
But it’s not nearly as rewarding.
Never forget a skinny torso cant warm your heart,
But words of wisdom can.
Never forget to listen,
You don’t know how much it might mean to someone else.
Never forget tell the day you die you always have another chance,
Don’t give up.
Never forget to stand with what you feel is right,
And be willing to admit when you’re wrong.
Never forget no one knows you better then you do,
So don’t be afraid to be you.
Never forget nothing can up left you more then love,
But few will want to give it if your not willing to return it.
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| The Gloom of Brave New World’s Ideals |
| 06.17.04 (9:03 pm) [edit] |
In the future there is no room for truth and beauty, only comfort and stability.
“Knowledge was the highest good, truth the supreme value; all the rest was secondary and subordinate. True, ideas were beginning to change even then. Our [Hennery] Ford himself did a great deal to shift the emphasis from truth and beauty to comfort and happiness. Mass production demanded the shift. Universal Happiness keeps the wheels steadily turning; truth and beauty can’t. And, of course, whenever the masses seized political power, then it was happiness rather than truth and beauty that mattered.” P. 155
The system that Brave New World created worked and not only did it work well, it could be the most efficient social system ever devised or executed. For the social goals of Brave New World there is no other system that could be as efficient at achieving comfort and stability. However, I see some chief flaws in this system that are the result of inescapable human conduct.
Throughout the book we are presented with many individuals. At first glance these people seem happy and content with their lives. Every time we get a more in-depth look at a character, we slowly learn that they are neither happy nor content with their lives to one extent or another. Both Bernard and Linda are unhappy because they are different. Physically Bernard is smaller then those of his own caste. Linda is overweight, and has had a viviparous relationship. This creates self-esteem issues that the society in which they live is not capable of coping with and they end up feeling alienated. Alienation isn’t comfort, and it’s not only those who are physically different that don’t fit. When an individual enjoys free thought, they are plagued with the same dilemmas.
”I feel,” he said, after a silence, “as though I were just beginning to be able to use that power I feel I’ve got inside me-that extra, latent power. Something seems to be coming to me.” P. 123
Some like Helmholtz just desire something more; something more then what the Brave New World can give them. It’s amazing that so many people can be, at least surface level happy, and at that Brave New World is working splendidly. The world controller said it best himself,
“Happiness is a hard master-particularly other peoples happiness. A much harder master, if one isn’t conditioned to accept it unquestioningly, than truth.” P. 154
Pulling from historical material, Communism and Marxism in theory or on paper is the perfect society. There is no poverty, no social classes, or any worries to the individual at all. Much like in Brave New World a communist society embraces the philosophies of comfort and stability. Everyone now knows of the terrible failures of communism in countries like Russia. But why did communism fail? Is something inherently wrong with these values? What can we learn about Brave New World from these failures?
Much debate can be made on what caused the failure of communism, but two things can be attributed to its failure in practice rather than in theory. Both of these two things are present in the society of Brave New World. Governments that exist with absolute control usually are not very stable. People run them without any checks and balances to prevent them from perverting the system. Without monitoring and with absolute power people become corrupted by their position. Dictators don’t usually run their societies in the best interest of the population. Both Communist Russia and the society in Brave New World had leaders, in whom absolute power was invested. The second thing, and the larger thing that contributed to the Soviet Union’s failure, was a serious lack of motivation in the society. In Brave New World everything is done for the populace, there is nothing for the society, or the individual to strive for, which begs the question, what’s the point? What’s the point, should I go to work? What’s the point, should I go to school? What’s the point, should I play obstacle golf with my friends? The human animal must have a reason to exist, that reason motivates there continued strive for survival. For people to feel fulfilled they need a reason for their existence. No amount of hypnopedeia can remove this from the human psyche; only dull it. This lack of individual motivation breeds a society that can no longer be an efficient system, but a progressively less and less capable one. Stability is stagnant and humans cannot stand being stagnate.
“Technically, it would be perfectly simple to reduce all lower-caste working hours to three or four a day. But would they be happier for that? No, they wouldn’t the experiment was tried, more than a century and a half ago. The whole of Ireland was put on to the four-hour day. What was the result? Unrest and a large increase in the consumption of soma; that is all” P. 152
Once a society of this nature is struck by a disaster or any grave challenge, it is fated to failure. It is not dynamic enough to overcome any great obstacles. It is a society full of incompetence that will prove to be its downfall. All the great societies of time have only survived if they were flexible enough to evolve and adapt to change. There is no room for change in Brave New World, because change does not lend to stability.
But wait, if the values of Brave New World’s society are so flawed, why is it that it works so efficiently? There are severely reasons for this gap. For one, no one is ever given the chance to think. They are constantly barraged with stimulation, to occupy the brain, so it doesn’t get the chance to analyze it’s self or anything else for that matter. Some even lack the ability to properly operate their brain, because of the pre-birth conditioning, “The lower the caste,” said Mr. Foster, “the shorter the oxygen” The first organ affected was the brain.” P. 9 It gets to the point where individuals feel uncomfortable with being alone or not accepting this existence. This prevents anyone from realizing they are unfulfilled with their lives and the rare few who do recognize an inadequacy in their lives are shunned by the masses. Technology’s hold on the individual and the mass creates a sense of stability that is very hard to break. Any sizeable resistance that might occur is easily neutralized by technology and the overwhelming power it gives to the government.
In the words of Albert Einstein;
“The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth. To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle.”
Brave New World has abandoned the values of truth and beauty, for something more obtainable. Will it or can it last, though? Probably not, there is no functional or fulfilled person who could survive a system based on comfort and stability. Such a world can only sustain a society of mindless apparatus.
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| “Lack of motive” |
| 06.17.04 (9:02 pm) [edit] |
There’s so much I’ve seen,
But there’s nothing worth sharing,
There’s much worth saying,
But there’s nothing I can retrieve,
A feeling not quite felt,
Not quite articulated,
Helps to keep me searching,
For what, I do not know,
But I hope to one-day find,
That which seeks me as I seek it,
Apathy takes control of so many,
But I must fight it off,
For all my strife for all my,
Struggle,
Nothing will be gained,
All will be lost,
But at least I’ve seen it.
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| random |
| 06.17.04 (9:00 pm) [edit] |
Color
Epiphany’s are odd, and have lasting consequences. I can still remember being in the fourth grade and walking out to my schools courtyard, well talking to my friend Galen when it struck me. It’s something that I still struggle with, and try to grapple with the implications this revolution had. I realized at that moment that not only did I associate colors with my emotions, but with memories, places, people, and things. This wasn’t something new; this was a sub-conscious act that I had been doing for as long as I could remember. Doing some surveying I discovered that I was not alone in this but many of my peers to one extant or another did the same, there’s even a branch of psychology devoted to the significant of color to the mind.
Door Knob
Last week I came a knocking, but you did not answer. I knocked again but no one stirred. I knocked a third, more loudly then before; I said sorry. But still no one came too. I know what I did was wrong, so lent this be my way back into you.
Why
When the road came to a “y” I knew what direction I had to take. The two roads that lay in front of me looked relatively the same. They where both grey and stretched off into the distance. They both had the same strips and autonomies look. True they went to different places, but where they really that different? The same there beginnings where, and ultimately they both ended with relative similarity. So indistinguishable but yet I knew which I was going to take. Which I had to take and it is probable not the one you think. It’s the one I stood upon. The one I came to this “y” upon. I had been heading in the wrong direction all along. So I turned around and headed back from which I came. Because I know that was the only place from which the love would come. Which I would never be find in those distant, anonymous, alien lands from which only isolation can be
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